BY Rich T. Enough of this darned bug stuff already… I decided that yesterday, after I got back in my truck and grabbed my bottle of hand sanitizer. Whereas the regular thick goopy kind of sanitizer is as scarce as pork and chickin these days, my sanitizer came from a local distillery and well, frankly, is pretty much plain ol’ vodka. And of course, my eye protection glasses are up over the top of my cap as is the style of us walleye fishermen these days, that darned first squirt of sanitizer/vodka dispensed from the poorly marked squirter hits me directly in the eyes… As I sat there waiting for my eyes to start working again the top of the hour news came on using their usual two word catch phrases telling me what to do. (Not sure who came up with the phrase “Social Distancing”, but that particular one has the same effect on me as running your fingernails across a chalkboard…)

A couple of weeks ago as I was “Hunkering Down” out in the shop trying to find the bench after a winter’s worth of accumulation of stuff piled upon it, the phone happened to ring. A guy wanted a load of firewood. Wow. I cannot remember ever hauling firewood in April before as it is more of a “Hurry and bring me some before it snows in October” kind of thing. So, I loaded up and headed to Sheridan, Montana to deliver this guy his firewood. As I pulled into his driveway, I noticed a guy in a car following me. He jumped out and headed up to where I was. (I had no idea what he what he wanted so I extended the “Social Distancing Standard 6 Feet Protocol” an extra nine feet). Turns out he too wanted a load of firewood as well. Yay. After he left, the guy who bought the load I was delivering commenced to talking my leg off for most of an hour. I am thinking “Sheltering in Place” had gotten to him and he ordered the firewood just so he could get out of his “Shelter” and talk to someone. The spot he wanted to put his firewood was right by the highway, and two more guys saw me unloading and stopped and ordered firewood loads as well. Double yay…

Fast forward to just last week and I am unloading the sixth firewood load of the spring at a spot I have been to before. There was a little bit of the last load I brought still laying in the unload spot, and as I was about start unloading, he mentioned to be careful where I put this load as there was a cat living under the wood pile somewhere. (On a scale of 1 to 10, my affection for the common cat stands at a solid minus 3…) So, I asked the guy if this particular cat held any sort of sentimental value, just in case. Just a common outside cat that roamed the neighborhood, he informed me. I first thought about banging down on the wood pile with the grapple two or three times thus scaring the cat away for a bit, but by now a small crowd had gathered in the driveway so that idea was not pursued. (Pretty sure this guy ordered a load of firewood just to get out of the house and visit with someone other than the cat, and the crowd that had gathered what with the “Social Distancing Standard 6 Feet Protocol” and all was more of a “Scattering” as they spread out down the driveway…) I never did see the cat and I managed to unload the whole load without disturbing the cat pile of wood. Yay again.

Carrying on, there doesn’t seem to be much happening on the federal and state trucking issue departments, but I’m sure I could go find some news pertaining to this, and lately there’s a strong probability that that particular news article is more than likely made up… So, we will continue to keep a skeptical eye on things and see what shakes out as we get back to the “New Normal” … (I am secretly hoping that those Giant Murder Hornets that are now invading us find and bite the guy who came up with that totally annoying two-word phrase…)

And now I must close as it is “Old Guy Day” at Costco and seeing how I qualify, I am going to go get in line and see if perhaps I can get some pork chops or maybe a chickin… Yay again, again.

Until next time, stay safe, keep yer distance, wash your hands, and do not sneeze on anybody cause they will beat you up. (Wait… isn’t all that what they taught us in kindergarten???)

That is All.

Rich Tee.

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