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TRUCK STOP

BY Rich T.

Well, the way I figure, I have got until approximately the first of September to grow a decent “Man-Bun” ... And I have got to come up with at least one of those dangly type earrings as well. You see, the long-awaited Bozeman Creek Salvage Job will be getting into full gear about then, and I want in on it. Makes sense that a Bozeman born, and locally raised boy is a part of revitalizing that particular bug infestation and gets to help keep the tiny little legs and wings of those little tree crunchers out of the drinking water portion of the good citizens of Bozeman’s morning coffee. But I must “fit in” as I haul logs thru and out of one of the largest concentrations of non-logging enthusiasts on the planet. So, in order to “fit in”, I think it is crucial that I somewhat resemble this particular bunch of folks. Thus the “Man-Bun”, and the earring. As I am a bit “Folically Challenged, I am wondering if there is perhaps an alternative “Man-Bun-Pe’ “, similar to the Toupe’ once popular amongst the “Folically Challenged” back in the day that I could somehow attach to my hardhat… For the dangly earrings, I have got a few Panther-Martin lures out in the boat, and there is this one particular one that matches the color of my hardhat. Another few items that will help me to “fit in” are those stickers with peace signs, the ever popular “Keep it Wild”, and several of those stick people ones for the back window. Whereas the injectors in my diesel engine are powered partly by a high voltage electrical charge, I would not be lying if I were to place an “Eco friendly Electric Vehicle” sticker in big bold green letters on the sides of the hood. A lot of trucks have “Fire Extinguisher Inside” printed somewhere by the passenger door indicating where it’s located in case one needs it, and I don’t have that, so instead I will install another sticker stating “Doggie-Doo Bags Inside”. And I think if I can get my daughter Rachael’s 95-pound Golden Retriever puppy up in the jump seat, that would be a nice touch towards showing the large contingent of non-logging enthusiasts that my puppy and I mean them no harm. (Of course, I would have to find a nice 95-pound puppy sized blue handkerchief to put around his neck so that he will “fit in” just like me with my “Man-Bun” and dangly earrings).

In the meantime, concerning hauling around here lately, I am considering having some mudflaps made for my trailer that say “Dash-Cam Equipped, So Don’t Do Anything Stupid” on them thinking that maybe if someone could possibly be on a dash-cam video that could go viral then maybe they do not act like an idiot within view of my dash-cam. It is getting to the point now that I cannot haul a load of logs without seeing at least one incident of some sort performed by my fellow motoring public that makes you wonder how those people are still alive. I always thought that passing on double yellow lines was against the law. It happens all the time now… And are speed limit signs now just places for birds to take a break on? Last week I watched a guy pass me and four cars, and the pilot car we were all following in a construction zone I guess because he did not want to be inconvenienced for a couple of minutes. Want to make someone mad here in the Gallatin Valley? Drive the speed limit. I am certain there are laws tied to how fast one can go in a certain area, and the sign that the bird is taking a break on tells you what that particular speed is. Then, on the dash of your vehicle usually right in front of the steering wheel, there is a bunch of numbers and a usually yellow pointy thing that points to the number indicating how fast your particular car with the streamlined luggage container on top is going, And the pointy thing goes up the numbers the harder you push on the pedally thingy down on the floor. Obviously, a lot of people haven’t got a good grasp on the whole number, pointy thing, pedally thing relationship… Further, the speed limit is a law. And isn’t it also a law that you pay for all of your groceries on the way out of Costco? So, if it is okay to drive 25 or 30 miles per hour over the speed limit, then is it also okay to leave Costco without paying for some of your groceries? Hmmmm….

What is happening here in the Gallatin Valley right now is beyond insane. Must be over 100,000 people here now trying to share roads, gas stations, grocery stores and such pretty much designed for 30,000. (Enough said for now on the influx of a bazillion mostly unfriendly people that we all I am sure have a few stories about…) There is a song on the Eagles “Hotel California” album named “The Last Resort”, and the lyrics fit the Gallatin Valley perfectly. It is about a refugee from Rhode Island that moves out west seeking “Paradise” along with a whole bunch of other people. The song goes on about what the people did to the place when they got there. Big ugly boxes to live in, and how they also brought with them the burdens they were trying to escape. The song ends with the lyrics “They called it Paradise I don’t know why, you call someplace Paradise, kiss it goodbye…”

That said, I must close now as I am really close to having the boat ready for the season, and if it works out, I will head for the lake about midnight when the vast majority of the idiot drivers are asleep… Until Next time,

That Is All.

Rich T.



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